many things whirling around in my head and heart.
many questions that i may never get the answer for.
many things that i secretly hoped for but know will never be.
find myself going round and round
maybe more of back and forth
each time something occurs, find myself back where i started.
each time i am ready to move on, will somehow get pulled back down.
i wanna get up
i wanna get through this
the mind wants it, but my heart is not ready, i guess …..
cant think of another way to explain it,
guess it is still “healing” from the realization of it all …..
and yesterday, is perhaps another point of realization.
still unsure what to make up of it …..
another question mark?
or is the answer right in front of my face and i am just denying it.
have just been crying it out ….
felt like it and couldnt hold it back anymore
coz i know it will never be ….
am still learning to let go of the wishes and hopes
am i taking too long to get over this?
i dunno
i am trying ….
there is a part of me that is so afraid of getting hurt again, of not expecting and to “get hit” ……
wish i can just get away from her
what step should i take next?
